June 24, 2021
Handouts
Transcript:
0:00
So, good afternoon.
0:02
I’m Michelle Wagner and I’m with Nami, New Hampshire, working on the First Episode Psychosis Early Serious Mental Illness Initiative.
0:10
This project is coordinated by NAMI, New Hampshire with major support from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration along with the Bureau of Mental Health Services within DHHS.
0:22
Thank you for joining us for our next webinar in the Onward NH series.
0:27
Today’s presentation is being recorded and you will be able to find it along with the slides on the education page of Onwardnh.org.
0:37
Though we aren’t offering formal CEU’s, we are happy to provide a certificate of attendance.
0:43
Just e-mail me at m. Wagner that’s mwagner@naminh.org.
0:54
This is a Zoom webinar, so your camera and microphone are off.
0:58
There is a Q&A feature, however, so please enter any questions you have there.
1:03
We will work to get to those questions at the end of the presentation, depending on how much time we have.
1:10
Our topic today is gaining a better understanding of transgender and nonbinary youth experiencing early serious mental illness and we have two terrific presenters joining us today.
1:22
Anyo Wunderl is a gender specialist at a Peaceful Balance Clinical Consultation and Counseling Services, and we also have Jennifer Wolf Hagstrom who is a clinical social worker and private practice at Kindness Corner Farm in Amherst, NH.
1:40
We also hopefully will be able to hear from LeBlanc, who is the Program Manager for the Transgender Health Clinic at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center.
1:50
So I’m going to go ahead and start by telling you a little bit about why I’m interested in this topic.
1:57
It is because I grew up with an older sister who identified as a lesbian.
2:02
She was very tall, 5 foot 11 and very masculine looking and faced some real societal challenges because of how she looked.
2:12
I do wonder now if she might have chosen to identify as non binary had that concept been available back in the 50s, sixties, seventies 80s.
2:23
Sadly for us, she passed away 2 1/2 weeks ago, although she had lived a very full and challenging life.
2:31
And I just think that if there was more LGBTQ plus education that it could have been a much kinder, gentler life for her than it was.
2:43
So today I’m honoring the memory of my sister by participating in this discussion and now I’m going to turn to our presenters Anya and Jennifer.
2:53
Anya, let’s start with you.
2:54
Why do you care about this topic for me?
2:59
Good morning everybody.
3:00
For me it was work related.
3:04
When I was working towards my LICSW accreditation, I had the opportunity to be mentored by a W Path Gender Specialist Jennifer Boyce, who’s now my colleague at A Peaceful Balance.
3:20
And of course, being a social worker, I’m always highly motivated, of course an advocate for social justice for all and and the LGBTIQI plus community unfortunately still faces, you know, the stigma and the discrimination.
3:38
So it was a good fit.
3:40
And I have to say personally, I feel I’ve grown a lot, you know, doing all my trainings and working with people from that population because before unless it’s somebody in your family or in your group of friends, you don’t really know much about it, right.
3:58
So I’m now a gender affirming clinical social worker since 2017.
4:04
Jennifer and I have been doing groups since that day for sure.
4:09
We we were putting those on hold.
4:11
Unfortunately because of the pandemic, they’re still on hold, but we’re hoping to start again in September, although in smaller format because our offices are are small.
4:22
So we have to accommodate for, you know, safety issues.
4:29
Thanks, Jennifer.
4:30
How about you?
4:31
Why is this topic important to you?
4:33
And the slides here, There we go.
4:40
Well, I I started out my career path as a special education teacher and that kind of led me to to become a social worker because I I cared more about social justice than I did about curriculum for for school teachers.
4:58
That, you know, is a very big thing they have to work on all the time.
5:02
And I’m.
5:04
I’m queer myself and I grew up in northern Maine and Southern New Hampshire and I never thought I would come back to be living in New Hampshire.
5:14
I was out of here.
5:17
Could be because I I wasn’t.
5:21
I wasn’t comfortable enough to be out and proud while I lived here as a teenager.
5:27
So that kind of led me to working with people that are within the LGBTQI Plus community, especially here with my work here in New Hampshire now to to have a safe space for people who who don’t feel like they can always be their authentic selves 100% of the time.
5:48
So yeah, I I do animal assisted therapy with people who’ve experienced trauma and I’m, I’m not taking any new clients now.
5:59
I just want to say that I’m just returning to work after having a baby during the pandemic.
6:05
And yeah, so like, baby’s not even in daycare yet.
6:10
So we’re, we’re trying to get that all figured out, but I’m really happy to be here.
6:15
Oh, I’m realizing that I didn’t put do not disturb on my screen, but that’s me.
6:24
Great.
6:24
Thank you, Jennifer, for that.
6:26
And now we’re going to move on into our presentation.
6:29
So we’re going to find out some definitions, what to look out for and also some resources.
6:35
So on.
6:35
Yo, I’m going to turn it over to you.
6:39
Thank you.
6:41
Can I have the next slide, please?
6:42
Thank you.
6:43
So we understand that the audience today includes a lot of people who are new to this whole topic, so to speak.
6:53
So we’re going to give some basic information as well.
6:56
So what is LGBTQIA+ stand for?
6:59
And a lot of letters have been added recently to that’s just to become more inclusive.
7:07
So a lesbian, gay, bisexual that’s pretty much known for everybody.
7:12
Transgender.
7:13
The TI will define that later.
7:16
Queer or questioning.
7:19
I don’t know if Jennifer wants to give a quick summary, but for me it’s usually people can describe themselves as queer or refer to the community as a as A at large to describe sexual and gender identities other than straight and cisgender.
7:40
Jump right in Jennifer if you want.
7:42
Yeah.
7:42
I was just going to say it’s, you know, it’s a reclaiming of the word because obviously the the word has long been used in a derogatory manner.
7:53
And so I myself identify as as queer because I feel like I’m aligning myself with the community in that way.
8:02
And also I’m, I don’t fall into one of the categories of LGBT, so its just is easier to just say that everybody has their own opinion about it though.
8:13
So but that’s kind of just a yeah, I think you did it.
8:18
OK.
8:19
And then the questioning it’s kind of obvious there’s still still people aren’t sure where they fall.
8:25
Intersex.
8:26
That’s for people born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t fit in a typical male female box if you will.
8:35
A is for asexual or ally.
8:39
Asexuals that people aren’t interested in sexual attraction to others.
8:45
Ally of course people want to sort of promote or you know support at least either family members or people that they know.
8:58
The plus is for other non heterosexual people and that groups.
9:02
The group includes pan, sexual gender, queer and non binary.
9:07
And non binary is part of transgender idea umbrella I would say and I’ll explain that later in the definitions page.
9:16
And by the way, don’t worry about all these things taking notes, because you will get the the information later on.
9:24
So not to overwhelm you too much here.
9:32
All right, so there’s 2-3 pages of some definitions.
9:36
By all means, they’re not all.
9:37
But this is just, like I said, the basic understanding for the people who are new to this.
9:42
So the assigned sex or gender that’s once gender that is assigned at birth and it’s usually based on genitalia but sometimes, you know there’s questions still.
9:53
So that’s a whole different story.
9:56
But it you can also see AFAP or AMAB, which means assigned female at birth or assigned male at birth.
10:03
The affirmed gender, that’s the person’s self identification, how they feel that they are.
10:10
So even if their birth assigned at birth for as female, they might feel male.
10:16
And remember there’s a sort of a, let’s call it a spectrum, a scale.
10:21
So, if one end is male, the other is female.
10:25
I found that the transgender people that I work with safe a born female who wants to be male never does 10 zero to 10, never says 10 is male.
10:36
It’s always around 8:00 and sometimes with non binary which I discussed later it’s sort of in the middle.
10:42
So, it’s we want to go away from the binary thinking like box female, box male, that’s sort of we need to let that go.
10:54
Gender dysphoria, gender dysphoria is still mentioned in the DSM five.
10:58
You know DSM 5 discusses disorders which is really bad that it’s in there, but I think it’s to be helpful for insurances and getting reimbursed for everything.
11:11
It’s the feeling of disconnect between once affirmed gender, how you feel and the assigned gender at birth.
11:20
Gender expression is how you express yourself to the outer world.
11:25
Cisgender, I was going to the next slide.
11:27
I don’t do that.
11:28
I don’t have those skills.
11:29
Cisgender is like having a gender identity consistent to what you were born with.
11:36
So, if you’re born female and you feel female, then you’re called CIS in the trans community.
11:43
All right, then.
11:50
Next slide.
11:51
Yeah.
11:51
Transgender.
11:53
That’s a person’s gender identity that differs from their assigned sex at birth.
11:58
So, it comes from the Latin across or on the opposite side.
12:03
Always use it as an adjective.
12:05
It’s not a verb.
12:08
Some people say you know transition or I don’t know how they make it, but it’s a transgender person or a trans male or trans female, non binary.
12:19
That’s hard to grasp grasp for a lot of people.
12:22
It’s the sort of an umbrella term for people like I talked about the scale male to female.
12:29
Where are you on the scale?
12:30
It’s not either this or the other.
12:32
Or some people who are non-binary feel 100% or 98% female one day, same next day as male or somewhere in between.
12:43
Or some people don’t want to, you know, be put in that box.
12:47
So, it’s it’s basically the umbrella term that people don’t want to be categorized as one or the other.
12:53
Usually they like, they prefer the day.
12:56
Then there’s pronouns, which is difficult for some people.
13:01
I sometimes even struggle with that because we feel it’s a plural.
13:04
But I was told, and I’m not English native speaking, but I was told that it’s grammatically correct as well to use that for a singular person.
13:15
F to M means female to male.
13:17
The other way is male to female.
13:20
That sort of explains itself, right?
13:23
But that’s short.
13:25
You might find that.
13:26
All right Jennifer, please.
13:27
The next slide, that name.
13:31
So transgender people still use that a lot.
13:35
I’ve I’ve worked in the support groups of parents.
13:38
Parents hate that.
13:40
They don’t want to use that name.
13:41
So, a lot of people now use the birth name or at least when I’m with parents you know I use that and then with the the kids I’ll use the other term.
13:54
And then the opposite is the chosen name to Miss Jenner.
13:58
And working with the groups I’ve realized that you there’s nothing worse you can do to misgender a transgender or non-binary person.
14:07
It really ruins their day.
14:10
So please try to use the correct name and pronoun.
14:15
But to Miss Jenner, is is is referring to the person in their birth gender, so to speak, passing.
14:24
That is somebody wants to pass in college, for instance, they go into college as a trans male.
14:30
They never talk about being trans male.
14:32
They’re just presenting as male.
14:35
Stealth that is living in once served affirmed gender without disclosing to others what it sort of goes with the passing because if they’re passing, they can do that.
14:45
If they’re not passing, that’s always a struggle.
14:48
Transitioning, that’s the process of changing one’s appearance and social role and etcetera.
14:57
So, those were the definitions.
14:59
I hope you know it’s not too confusing, but again, you’ll have the handout later on.
15:16
I’ve I’ve not done this before where I’m the one with the slides.
15:20
So, is it covered?
15:21
Like are people covered here?
15:24
OK, it’s like the here.
15:25
I’ll just do this there or no, I don’t know how to do this.
15:35
I’ll just kind of move it around I guess.
15:38
But you’ll have the slides, so, OK, clinical issues.
15:44
So, I’m going to, I’m going to talk a little bit about what can come up in terms of mental health concerns for people within the the transgender community.
15:57
And and then we’re going to talk about things to look out for that is not trans-specific.
16:04
It’s really just kind of like issues for kind of red flags or orange flags for mental health concerns.
16:13
So, in general for the community there, there’s a lot of fear associated with coming out or being out or even questioning even in therapy.
16:23
This is, you know, I think there’s, we see it in the news a lot, a lot of violence against specifically trans people that continues to go on.
16:38
And you know, there’s just a lot of fear of being admonished or disrespected or chastised, invalidated parents finding out from the therapist, other community members finding out, you know, it’s it’s a really strong, terrible burden to to carry.
16:57
And the distress is caused by not being able to be, you know, one’s true self.
17:05
There’s a lot of increased likelihood of harm coming to a person within this community such as bullying, threats, physical violence, homelessness.
17:17
And also all of this kind of goes along with an increased likelihood then of self harm or thoughts or actions toward suicide.
17:27
I mean if you can just imagine kind of carrying this around with you your entire life, it’s it’s like I said a tremendous burden to to bear.
17:35
So, I think another clinical thing to to be aware of is that transgender and nonbinary people have experienced trauma at a higher rate, even a higher rate than others within the LGBTQ community, the population so higher than the general population, higher even than other members of the LGBTQ community.
17:57
So, I think that’s just kind of, it lays the groundwork of kind of understanding a little bit of the intense amount of pressure there is.
18:09
Move the slide here, Okay NAMI has this really wonderful page of just kind of like warning signs for budding mental illness.
18:24
Like I said, I do animal assistive therapy, so I’ve got little meerkats here because they’re looking out just trying to bring a little levity to this very intense topic.
18:33
So, this like I said is not trans or non-binary specific.
18:41
These are things to look out for, for anyone who could be experiencing mental health concerns.
18:48
I think when we’re talking about serious mental illness, the biggest thing to kind of keep in mind there is in relation to the the way that a person perceives reality.
19:00
That’s kind of the biggest stuff.
19:02
So, and that’s kind of relevant for any sense.
19:04
So, what they see or what they hear or smell.
19:08
But I’ll just kind of go through these and you know, give you an idea of things to maybe be like like okay, maybe I should just put that on my radar.
19:17
So, if there’s difficulty concentrating or changes in concentration levels.
19:23
So, a lot of these, you know, warning signs are a spectrum and and also very much focused on what has changed.
19:30
So, you know, if someone typically doesn’t have a problem concentrating and then they do, that could be something.
19:39
If if someone can’t concentrate very, very well and then all of a sudden they’re so concentrated on a few things that they can’t pull themselves away to eat or sleep, you know that that would be something concerning too.
19:52
So, we’re really just looking at changes in patterns as being, you know, something to to be really aware of.
19:58
So, changes in sleep patterns, same thing.
20:00
So, someone typically able to sleep pretty well, but all of a sudden they can’t.
20:05
Someone not really able to sleep super well and all of a sudden they’re sleeping, you know, maybe throughout the day.
20:11
Those are things to be, you know, looking at confusion, lack of insight into their own behaviors this, this is kind of a big one and really just I think it’s important to remember developmental level too.
20:25
So, obviously a young child would have less insight into their own behaviors than, you know, maybe a a teenager almost adult.
20:35
So, I think it’s relative to look at it from that perspective as well.
20:39
But also, you know, if there’s an adult person who doesn’t realize that, you know, not sleeping for multiple days in a row is concerning, you know, that would be definitely something to try to help that person with.
20:55
So, perceiving sensory input that’s not there.
20:58
So, hearing things that objectively are not there.
21:02
And I don’t mean like, oh, maybe they have really great hearing and they hear something you.
21:06
I mean, like, you know, consistently hearing things that that are not objectively there, smelling things, seeing things, any sensory input that’s not objectively part of reality, social isolation or increased friend conflict or conflict in general.
21:30
I think a lot of times, too.
21:31
I just want to say that anger can be kind of misperceived sometimes.
21:38
I think that a lot of us know that, you know, a person would be depressed if they’re, you know, energy levels really low or they’re sleeping a lot or they don’t want to do things or whatnot.
21:49
And I’ll see also with families that that come in that I work with, you know, like, Oh my gosh, they’re so angry.
21:56
Why are they so angry?
21:57
Like they just need to calm down, you know, whatever.
21:59
But anger is a way to get your needs met if your needs are not getting met.
22:05
And it’s it’s usually a very big indicator that there is mental health concern or something else going on underlying.
22:14
So, I think we don’t always look at some anger or aggressive behaviors and be like oh that’s probably because they they need more help.
22:24
You know we we might kind of vilify it a little bit, okay some more things here.
22:36
So, again changes so extreme mood changes.
22:39
So, if you know person is typically pretty even keel and then all of the sudden they’re really down for a long time or even just kind of a fluctuation throughout days or groups of days where their moods really low or really elevated.
22:57
So, this is something to keep in mind too.
23:00
We might not always kind of see it as a problem per se, but if somebody’s, you know, operating at a level 10 out of 10, hyper excited, you know what?
23:11
Not that can be something that could indicate that there’s some mood stuff going on too.
23:17
Increased reporting of physical discomfort such as headaches or stomach aches.
23:20
You see this a lot with kids or teenagers especially if they haven’t been taught how to identify emotions and how to process feelings.
23:33
It’ll just kind of manifest as as somatic physical manifestations, changes in eating habits.
23:40
Again, this can go in either direction to be eating a lot, eating not enough things like that, feeling alone, or as though no one understands.
23:51
I think that all of these two are important to remember that, you know, feeling alone is is relevant toward the person who’s feeling it.
24:01
So, if maybe a parent is looking at this child and the child is saying that they feel alone and the parents like you’re not alone, I’m right here.
24:07
You know that that’s kind of missing the the mark.
24:11
It’s really about, you know, if the person feels that way, then it’s relevant.
24:17
Even if you know you can’t wrap your head around why that might be substance use or increase in substance use.
24:26
I think especially just, you know, within our country there’s a lot going on with marijuana and and whatnot.
24:33
So, it could be a baseline behavior for some people.
24:37
And I’m not going to talk about, you know, all of the pieces that go into that.
24:42
But if there is an increase in use for someone that already had a baseline of of using that’s concerning.
24:49
It would be concerning that they might be using in the 1st place maybe, but that would be relevant to any of the other things I’ve I’ve mentioned here.
24:57
Seeming uncomfortable in their body or wanting to hide their body.
25:01
Like maybe wearing a hoodie that is always covering or you know, kind of oversized clothing that can be something to to just be aware of.
25:12
Too hopelessness, exhaustion, seeming to be giving up.
25:17
That’s extremely concerning.
25:20
Thoughts or statements of self-harm or suicide also extremely concerning so and and would warrant immediate attention from a a mental health or medical professional and again this is all related to the person who is experiencing it.
25:40
So, I think the the kind of minimizing that has been very prevalent within our Society of mental health concerns needs to disappear, needs to go away.
25:54
Because if a person is feeling so uncomfortable and upset that they would be saying things like this, then there is a problem.
26:01
Regardless of if you think that it’s warranted, regardless of if you think that they would do anything or not, you know it would it.
26:10
It would mean that that person is in so much distress that they would have to say something like that or or do something like that.
26:15
So, they would need to be given the proper care that they they should be given.
26:24
Again, you’re going to get all these slides and we’re just kind of like a go, really go, go, go because we just have an hour.
26:30
I feel like everything we’ve talked about so far could be, you know, an hour conversation in and of itself.
26:37
But we’re going to move on, and Anya is going to bring a little bit of the medical perspective in here.
26:47
Oh, you’re muted.
26:49
Unmute yourself.
26:51
All right.
26:52
Thanks.
26:53
Yes.
26:53
So medical interventions, Big question mark.
26:56
Because we do want to stress that many transgender people can transition without any taking any hormones or any surgery.
27:07
And that’s perfectly fine.
27:08
It just depends on the person.
27:10
But in my practice, I’ve learned that a lot of people are like, what’s going on?
27:15
What can you do?
27:16
It’s really unclear.
27:17
So that’s why I felt it was important to slide it in there, even though it doesn’t really say anything about warning signs.
27:26
But people can perfectly well lift their, lift their gender identity without any medical options.
27:34
I mean, they can still change their name.
27:36
They can change their clothing.
27:39
A lot of times female to male will wear binders because the chest will give them away.
27:46
They’re pretty uncomfortable.
27:48
So, I feel when people go through all these steps, which are very uncomfortable, which are also getting them into different positions that might be hurtful and discriminated against.
28:02
I feel we need to honor that.
28:03
That’s how they feel inside.
28:05
That’s how their their sense of being is.
28:08
And so, who are we to question any of that?
28:11
So anyway, just for informational sake, I feel this is important what some possible medical interventions are.
28:20
Jennifer Okay, here we go.
28:22
So there’s three categories, if you will, the fully reversible interventions and I put that down there because that’s still the, the real consensus right now recommended by the onset of puberty tenor stage two people are sometimes by endocrinologists giving blockers, which is really helpful because they’re fully reversible and and they’re buying time for these young kids to to figure out what it really is because it’s not like an easy decision, yes or no.
29:00
You know it takes a while and also for parents to get used to it as well because usually kids are, they don’t have the names for it.
29:09
What am I going through until they get older and they have more capacity to to look at those things.
29:15
But it’s really, really helpful to buy time.
29:20
Those blockers, the oral conceptive contraceptives is also very helpful because a lot of times when people feel, when girls feel they’re really male or non-binary having their monthly menses, it’s really increasing their gender dysphoria.
29:37
So, it’s a fairly easy step to, you know, prescribe oral contraceptives.
29:42
So at least have that out of the way because like Jennifer was talking about too.
29:47
If you’re hiding a lot of things, if you can’t be who who you really are, you know that’s an enormous stress and it increases anxiety and depression.
29:57
So, the blockers and Oracle contraceptives, I my guess, please, that’s so helpful.
30:03
And don’t forget the parents their parents support, even if they can’t wrap their head around it.
30:10
Or other people just using their names.
30:12
Validating I’m with you.
30:14
I don’t understand it, but I validate.
30:16
I’ll use your chosen name.
30:17
I’ll use your gender, your pronouns, and that support, research has shown, decreases the depression, decreases the anxiety.
30:28
So, then we got to the partial.
30:30
Can I just add on to that, There have been some recent studies that have been done that, you know, very clearly say that even having just one person that validates your authentic self, whatever that may be, seriously decreases the likelihood of of suicide like tremendously.
30:55
So, I think that that’s really important to remember because that also puts in perspective that the flip side, you know, if if everyone in your world does not validate who you authentically are, you know, that’s extremely concerning in terms of mental health and and what could result of that.
31:12
So, so yeah, as much validation and support, even if you don’t understand, you don’t need to understand, you can respect it and you can learn.
31:21
Just wanted to throw that out.
31:22
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
31:25
I’m glad you did.
31:26
So, then we got to the partially reversible interventions and that’s why I said generally not before age, 16 times change quickly.
31:35
So, I I have several of my clients who are not 16, they’re even 13 and up and they’re getting hormone treatment.
31:46
So, it’s still used as HRT, hormone replacement therapy, which doesn’t really cover it, but it’s therapy, therapy, hormone therapy to masculinize or feminize the body.
31:59
And that’s a major step, especially for the parents.
32:03
The kids that I see can’t wait you know, till the next day if they want to have the medical interventions because the reasons they give me is that if a male to female for instance, am I seeing this right?
32:21
No differently especially with with female to male.
32:25
Sorry, I got confused but especially with female to male their voice gets them away, that’s how they feel, right?
32:33
So when they get the hormone replacement therapy, usually after a couple of months, their voice drops somewhat, their face becomes a little bit more angular and that’s how they feel.
32:45
They get less misgendered, they pass more.
32:48
And so, it works on their self-esteem.
32:51
But again it’s a big step for parents because the air versity of of the thing and also it it, you know it’s it’s what am I doing to my body or to my child’s body and is this really necessary and what if they change their mind they’re so young how can they decide something so important the irreversible interventions that’s the biggest that’s that’s for instance the top surgery part of the hormone treatment sort of triggers I can’t think of the name now when you can’t have children the fertility issues.
33:36
Right.
33:37
And and that’s a big thing again for parents.
33:40
Kids are more open to the to the idea that you know what I don’t know right now do I want to have kids.
33:48
I they agree that they’re too young to make that decision a lot of times, but then they’ll say if the time comes I will adopt or maybe my partner or whatever, it’ll work out.
34:00
At this point I just want this.
34:04
So yes, enough about that.
34:05
But I feel it’s important to to throw that in and to clear it up a little bit if I can okay some resources and we have combined list.
34:18
So, the ones that I really like is GEMS, Gender Multispecialty Service at the Boston Children’s Hospital.
34:25
They have a whole team social work, endocrinologist surgeons.
34:30
They are the ones actually that are saying if a child is on hormones for one year they they will do in certain cases they will do the top surgery which is masculinizing of the chest.
34:45
Then another great resource is Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center.
34:50
They have program in Lebanon and in Manchester same thing.
34:54
They have the whole team.
34:58
I only hear good things about them and let me just add in that Emmett is with us.
35:05
So, Emmett will be sharing with that program a little bit later.
35:09
Perfect.
35:09
Perfect.
35:10
So, and then there’s a quality Health Center.
35:13
They’re growing fast They’re I just saw that they’re having new applicants because they deal with several things the whole LGBTQ and plus community.
35:26
But now they’re sort of also gearing in more towards transgender non binary and they’re they’re pretty good too.
35:33
The Concord Center that Hornton runs that with another person, but they do groups and Jennifer will talk about that as well a little bit later.
35:44
So great resources and it’s a start.
35:47
But be aware unfortunately that a lot of therapists are full, myself included at at least at this time.
35:54
Jennifer’s not taking new clients.
35:56
That’s a real struggle to find somebody, but at least connect with those people and and maybe they have their own resource list.
36:06
And of course, like we said before NAMI is a perfect resource and you know, things might change, things might change.
36:15
All right.
36:16
I’m ready for the next slide W path.
36:20
That’s a really big name to to remember for people who are new to this.
36:26
They have published the Standards of Care version 7 and it’s a free, about 60 page download on that website and it is a guide to health providers like therapists and doctors What is needed?
36:44
Also with the back, in the back of our minds with the insurance, what is needed for insurance like top surgery for a 16 year old, there need to be two letters of support right.
36:56
So, all this is is no mentioned in that standards of care and that’s what we follow.
37:02
We have certain guidelines, so it’s very important and please check, check that out.
37:08
National Center for Transgender Equality great resource, P Flag.
37:13
A lot of parents find the things that they or that they need, you know, because a lot of parents like it’s what is happening.
37:22
And a trend that I want to mention is that a lot of transgender kids, young kids, once they know sort of the terminology.
37:32
So, it’s say like maybe 15 year old.
37:35
They come out first to their parents a lot of times as gay and they might really think that they’re gay, but it’s on their way to discovery their whole transitioning journey and they might tell that and parents are you know, more okay with that unfortunately.
37:52
Still then they might say, I might I might be non-binary because again they might think that and then they might come out as trans so.
38:02
But I do see a pattern for the people who even know that they’re trans in the beginning to say let’s you know not tell it all at once because it’s a big stigma still and to tell your parents that is is a big anxiety provoking situation.
38:22
And another thing is good for parents to know that what how they get the message is a lot of times before they get dropped off for school pre pandemic.
38:32
And now again just before they leave the car, they say, oh and by the way, I’m trans Or they throw a note on the car seat or a note on the pillow or a text and parents are wondering like, why is that?
38:46
Is that the mode of informing me?
38:48
But it’s just you know to be a way to get it out in the open and then like ah, leaving the scene.
38:55
So, that is what I see.
38:57
But of course you can’t generalize, but I wanted to throw that in.
39:01
But parents need a lot of support.
39:03
They’re going through a morning stage and they can find it also at P Flag and again we were doing the parents groups and hopefully again in in, yeah, September.
39:15
So trans, youth, family, allies, same thing, wonderful.
39:19
And because it’s summertime I wanted to throw in the camp Arinutic.
39:24
I hope I pronounced that right.
39:25
They have camps for trans and nonbinary children and by the way nonbinary.
39:30
You see that as two words with a- and one word.
39:34
That’s all fine.
39:37
I’ve checked it.
39:38
They don’t really take new people for this summer, but they’re already registering for next year’s summer vacation, and I heard a lot of good feedback from that.
39:49
So, just the tip of the iceberg.
39:51
There’s way more, but this is what I feel is helpful.
39:56
Jennifer.
39:58
Yeah, so.
40:00
I I’ve got a bunch of resources here too and definitely cross over with with Anyos.
40:09
So these two groups here, transgender and nonbinary teen talk group and at the same time in a separate room parents of transgender and nonbinary kids support group is run by Deb Horton and Harvey Feldman and they’re on hold for now.
40:29
I’m not really sure what their plan is for coming back, but Deb was also coordinating this mindfulness group for L GB TQ less folks that was happening in Concord.
40:43
So, you know, be on the lookout there for that coming back.
40:47
PFLAG, the Manchester group I know is meeting virtually and they have been, so that’s an option.
40:55
You can find them.
40:55
They have a Facebook group and website too.
40:59
The Gender Diverse Care Coalition of New Hampshire is this new coalition of providers, currently all within the mental health field, that are providing education for providers for I think they were.
41:17
They were planning to do some things for parents too I think.
41:22
I’m not 100% sure, but it’s brand new, just a few months old.
41:27
They’ve only offered one training so far that was online that was fabulous.
41:31
So can check that out For more information too.
41:36
And then this is medical specific.
41:38
So yeah, Equality Health Center in Concord and Fenway Health in Boston.
41:44
And I mean they have a variety of locations, I believe, but they have a whole transgender and they’re they’re also, I mean Fenway is really topnotch training in terms of transgender issues that they provide.
42:01
So, that’s right there and you know, fairly accessible for us, New Hampshire.
42:07
There’s also the gender clinic at Maine Medical Center through the Barbara Bush Children’s Hospital and they’ve got you know, endocrinologists, psychiatrists, a lot of options there.
42:23
And then I always love to to share about the Trevor Project because I think they’re just amazing.
42:28
They do tons of research.
42:30
They also have a support lines online chat support and especially for for people within the community wanting to speak to somebody who knows what they’re talking about.
42:45
You know the people that are or answering the phone or chatting have lived experience which is amazing.
42:52
So, this book is also super helpful.
42:55
You and Your Gender Identity.
42:57
A Guide to Discovery by Dara Hoffman Fox and they are are trans themselves and wrote this amazing.
43:05
It’s it’s kind of like a workbook.
43:06
There’s lots of activities in there which are extremely helpful And then let me move this around.
43:11
The Transgender Guidebook by Ann Bodecker.
43:15
It’s really helpful for just kind of knowledge and information about transition and and whatnot.
43:23
Trans Lifeline is another option in addition to the Trevor Project and they also have a just kind of moving us around here family and friends hotline.
43:35
So, if you have questions or you you need to have some you know advice for for something you know that’s accessible even if you don’t have an identified therapist at the time or whatnot.
43:50
Again, Trevor Project, Amazing Lifeline, a chat and texting.
43:58
And then this is also like look at all these resources.
44:02
The we’ve got a LGBT national hotline, a youth talk line, online peer support chat, weekly youth chat rooms, all of that.
44:16
So, and you’re going to get all the the slides.
44:18
So, you’ll have access to all of these resources and then you’ll have all this too because anyone.
44:23
I listed all of our references here and then I think are we at the end.
44:30
So, this would be the the, the time for Emmett.
44:35
Thank you, Jennifer, so much.
44:36
And I did just want to add because another book that I will include in those resources.
44:42
It’s a novel by Mason Deaver.
44:45
I wish you all the best and it’s the story of a teen who is coming out as nonbinary and that teen’s journey through that.
44:54
Super interesting, Very good.
44:57
So, thank you both Jennifer and Anyo.
44:59
And we do have some questions coming in, important questions that I’m hoping we’re going to be able to get to, but I do want to turn it over to Emmett.
45:08
So, Emmett, if you can go ahead and take it away, tell us, take a few minutes and talk about yourself and that program up in at Dartmouth, that would be terrific.
45:20
Cool.
45:20
Thanks for having me.
45:21
This has been really wonderful and you have a plethora of resources, so that was fantastic.
45:27
So, my name is Emmett LeBlanc, my pronouns are he, him, his, and I’m the program manager for the Transgender Health Clinic at Dartmouth, Hitchcock.
45:36
I just started June 1st, so things are very fresh and new, but I’m very excited to be on board and be providing the service for this community.
45:46
So, a little bit about me, I’m from Massachusetts originally and then I came up to New Hampshire.
45:51
I went to Colby Sawyer and got my bachelor’s and health promotion.
45:56
I’ve done it some work within the mental health field and in Group homes, and now I’m currently at Dartmouth.
46:02
I also have lived experience as a trans man, so I began my transitioning college when I was around 19, And I’ve gone through some medical as well as the social aspect of transitioning, gone through the legal process of changing my name and gender markers.
46:20
And I’ve dealt with just going through all the hoops, hoops and jumps and barriers that trans folks have to go through in order to get the care that they deserve.
46:29
And so, utilizing kind of my lived experience with my, you know, professional understanding of the medical field, kind of combining those two things and working as a patient liaison care navigator, almost connecting patients and their families to the resources they’re looking for.
46:46
So, we have a hotline.
46:47
Folks can call that anytime.
46:49
It’s just a voicemail.
46:50
So, you’ll leave a voicemail with what you’re requesting and I’ll call you back within a day or two.
46:55
I’m trying to get it within a day, but sometimes it takes 2 days and you just leave a message of what you’re looking for.
47:01
So, if you want to talk, you can just say, I want to talk about stuff.
47:05
If you want, you know, hormone replacement therapy, say I’m looking to get HRT.
47:10
If I want surgery, say surgery and you just let me know what you’re looking for and then you know, I’ll connect with you and kind of navigate where you need to go for most things.
47:20
We because we do offer, you know, services for adults and pediatric patients.
47:24
And so, the process is a bit different depending on the age of the patient.
47:28
If they’re an adult, it’s a bit smoother of a process.
47:32
If they’re a child, obviously there’s just a lot more involved with that with parental consent and all that.
47:37
But we do have a website I’m working on making it a bit more accessible with more information on it, but it does have some basic info on it right now.
47:46
So, if you were to go on to the Dartmouth Hitchcock website and just type in Transgender Health program, I find that’s the easiest way.
47:52
Rather than going through all the departments, it’ll be the 1st result in after you search it.
47:58
And then you can find all of our information on there.
48:00
And if your question isn’t answered after looking through that, you can feel free to leave a message and call.
48:06
And I hope that that is helpful.
48:08
I think that I went through most things.
48:11
Yeah.
48:12
Emmett, can you just share your e-mail address and your phone number with us?
48:16
Sure, yeah.
48:17
So, it’s Emmett.
48:18
Emmettjleblancleblanc@hitchcock.org So first name, little middle initial, last name at hitchcock.org and then my phone contact is I actually have it here at 603-650-6307 and I’m working mostly remotely.
48:41
I have an office on site in Lebanon, but COVID is kind of allowed folks to do a lot of things from home or in my case, in a State Park because it’s beautiful outside.
48:52
And so, I am pretty mobile these days, but I do have access to those calls, so they get redirected to me.
48:59
So even if I’m not in office, I’ll get those calls.
49:03
I just try to set good boundaries and I don’t answer calls after 5:30 and I’ll just let them go to voicemail and take them the next day.
49:13
Great.
49:14
Thank you, Emmett.
49:15
Yeah, no problem.
49:16
Thank you for having me.
49:17
Yeah.
49:18
And now we’re going to go into questions.
49:19
So, please stay on because Jennifer, Anyo and Emmett, these will, they’re, these are coming your way.
49:26
So, there’s a question here for Jenny.
49:28
Is there transgender support in the Nashua area?
49:31
Because I’m a trans woman?
49:37
Anyo, you’re in Nashua, right?
49:40
And you’re muted.
49:41
So, unmute yourself, sorry, I keep forgetting.
49:48
Well hopefully in in September we will restart the groups, but we are not sure again how we’re doing it because we used to do the walk in bases, we didn’t ask for name or insurance.
49:59
We had a $10 request for donation and sometimes we would have 20 to 30 people, whether it’s, you know, teens 12 to 18 or adults.
50:12
Parents were usually 10th of 20.
50:14
But we can’t do that in our office anymore right now.
50:18
So, we’re trying to think how to do this.
50:21
But Jenny, yeah, check us out.
50:23
Transportations is the website and we’ll post when we we will restart those groups.
50:33
I want to add to and and Jenny, you probably are already aware of this but there’s a a Facebook group, it’s a private group for Transgender New Hampshire.
50:44
And you know that’s I I think the maybe one of the fastest way to get a lot of responses of what’s happening currently.
50:53
There’s a lot of supportive people on there and also you could maybe connect with some people that you might not know about that might be in your area.
51:05
Yeah, I think I we were, we were talking about this when we were planning the webinar.
51:10
Just how disappointing it is that the mental health specific stuff is just so tapped out right now.
51:19
Like we need, we need more clinicians, we need more centers, we need more options for groups and especially with the pandemic and just all of the moving parts of all of that, there being this, this real lack of of access to supports.
51:35
But, you know, I think I’m, I’m hopeful that things will be, you know, moving in the right direction soon, especially with lots of people being vaccinated.
51:45
So yeah, yeah.
51:49
And I think having Emmett with us, that is a really hopeful sign.
51:54
So, next question.
51:55
I’ve been told by LGBT teens that the A is not for Ally and only for actually queer people, and that allies claiming to be part of the LGBT is inappropriate.
52:06
They say it is for asexual, a gender a romantic people.
52:10
Can you speak to this?
52:16
I’ll speak to it.
52:18
I would agree with that statement.
52:20
I’ve tried to explain it to folks sometimes because I know that they mean well when they say obviously it’s great that they’re an ally, but if they’re an ally, they’re not LGBT.
52:30
I think that’s the most simple way to put it.
52:32
Because like if I said, I’m a member of the LGBT community, if you’re an ally and you’re straight and you’re cisgender, you’re not part of the LGBT community, but you support us, which is fantastic.
52:42
But I would agree with the statement that it would stand for asexual or a gender or a romantic or whatever fits for that person.
52:52
Thank you for that, Emmett.
52:53
Yeah.
52:54
Yes.
52:55
Learn something new today.
52:56
Thank you all of us.
52:59
My next question Is it appropriate for a cisgender to use the word queer when talking to someone or stick with pronouns?
53:09
I I would say that queer is only appropriate to be used if the person themselves has referred to themselves as queer.
53:20
So, like if like I I shared here that I identify as queer.
53:24
So, if someone said, oh, she’s a queer person or she’s queer or whatever, then that’s fine because I said it.
53:31
But if you’re putting that label and I think also remembering the history of that label, you know on to somebody that’s inappropriate, you know, regardless.
53:40
Like you know me guessing the gender of somebody is inappropriate, you know, so me guessing you know if they use that identifier would be similar.
53:49
I think you guys can you know and if I can add Jennifer, I totally agree with that obviously.
53:58
And I think if people are are questioning still unfortunately because why would we.
54:03
I hope we’re going to a world where it doesn’t matter.
54:07
Male, female, in between, we’re just caring about the people.
54:11
You know, they’re inside the the person’s inner self.
54:15
But if they’re still questioning and they want to know, can I they can just say what are your pronouns?
54:20
I think great, thank you.
54:26
Here’s a great question.
54:27
Could one of you, this is from Barbara.
54:28
Could one of you mentioned first steps end or the process for becoming a gender affirming clinician?
54:35
So, we have folks who want to join forces.
54:40
Tanya, you’ve done it.
54:40
So yeah, Well, wpath.org, they provide trainings.
54:48
Jennifer, you’ve mentioned to where you can find resources and trainings as well.
54:52
So go there, but look out for those trainings, but make sure they’re from respectable organizations, if you will.
55:01
Because I’ve taken some trainings that I was like, well, I could have taught those even in my early days, but W Path is very respected and it’s very thorough.
55:14
So, I would start there.
55:18
If you if you are a clinician, there is another just like apparently I live on Facebook, there’s another group on Facebook that is for, I’m trying to think of the name of it.
55:30
I think it’s LGBT affirming therapists or or something like that.
55:36
And there are tons of members on there with a whole plethora of of knowledge and also people with lived experience offering trainings which I would tout as the the most relevant, the most valuable information you would get from someone with lived experience offering a training or or continuing education.
56:00
Thank you.
56:00
Jennifer from Kerry.
56:03
What age do kids typically start questioning if I can stay a general answer when puberty starts.
56:13
Because then they, you know, when they have chest development or hair development or you know, whatever development in puberty, that’s when they’re like, this isn’t me, menstrual cycles.
56:28
And they then they realized, OK, something is up and Emmett, you might be able to speak to this.
56:40
Yeah, I would say I don’t.
56:41
Times are a lot different now even than when I was a kid 20 years ago.
56:47
You know, I’m 6 and so I totally knew that I was different than other people who are assigned female at birth because I wore boys clothes and did boys things.
57:03
And I just kind of was attributed to the tomboy label because that language wasn’t quite there in the like late 90s, early 2000s, at least not within my realm of social exposure.
57:17
And so, it wasn’t really until I had the education in the language to understand one, the difference between gender and sexuality because I came out first as a lesbian, so, similar to what Anya was saying earlier and then I came out as non-binary and then I came out as a trans man, you know.
57:35
So, it was a process because I this language was just a it’s it’s kind of boomed because of the presence on social media and the political, social aspect of things currently.
57:47
So, I would say like if I was a kid now I would probably know when I was like four or five, but I just didn’t at that time because I didn’t have that kind of language and that exposure.
58:00
Thank you for that, Emmett.
58:02
I wanna add to that whenever it happens is normal that I just wanna say that because I think there is this idea of like okay, give me a time frame and then if it happens at that time frame then it’s right.
58:20
You know, it’s when it, when it surfaces, it surfaces and there it is.
58:26
You know, I’ve had very young clients and and I’ve had, you know, people who are adults that are, you know, it’s it’s fluid, things change and you know it’s all informed by our society and our cultures and our lived experience and everything.
58:41
So yeah, whenever it is, is when it is.
58:46
Jen on you and Emmett, we have many more questions here.
58:49
Are the three of you able to stay on to answer them for a few more minutes?
58:55
Okay.
58:56
Great.
58:56
So, for those who have to hop off at 1:00, pardon.
59:03
So, anyone who has to hop off, please feel free.
59:07
We’re glad you could join us.
59:08
And for those who can stay on, we’re going to keep going through this list.
59:11
What’s the name of the Facebook group from Rebecca?
59:14
And I’m not sure what she was referring to.
59:19
You’re muted.
59:20
Jennifer.
59:21
Thank you.
59:23
So transgender New Hampshire is one that I mentioned.
59:27
And then another one I mentioned was LGBT affirming therapists.
59:35
I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s called.
59:39
Great.
59:39
Thanks.
59:41
And they did ask for Emmett’s phone number.
59:43
I did put it, I did answer, I typed, I think it’s 603-650-8630.
59:51
Did I get it, Emmett?
59:56
Hopefully that’s right.
59:58
So, from from Adriana, working with adolescents, most common concern of parents of trans teens is what if they change their mind?
1:00:09
While the teen is feeling invalidated and rejected by that response to the parent, what are best practices for addressing parental concerns while coaching them toward affirming their teens identity is a great question.
1:00:28
It’s very difficult.
1:00:30
I struggle with that all the time honestly because I understand as a parent I have two kids boy, girl who are sis.
1:00:39
But I understand the difficulty for parents because you feel the responsibility what if they regret right?
1:00:47
And and I, look, I was going to say personal story, we don’t have time for that.
1:00:53
But anyway it is possible.
1:00:56
But I always tell them, and of course it’s confirmation bias because you can find any article to confirm what you’re looking for.
1:01:03
But there’s been research and less than 1% of people who are transitioning are feeling regret.
1:01:12
So, I always explain that and it’s okay and I tell the kids too, you know it’s not set in stone.
1:01:19
Once you say this and you make this decision, doesn’t mean that the rest of your life you have to follow that path.
1:01:26
So, I tell that to parents too.
1:01:28
And I said, I always try to convince them or to to make clear to them that it’s really important, even if you don’t agree with it, but to keep that bond, to show your kids you love them, to show them that you know what, I don’t understand, I need more time, but I’ll just go with you on those things.
1:01:49
And then if usually parents say OK, and then I say have a talk with the endocrinologist, because I’m not a doctor, I can’t answer all the concrete answers, but I can give a general idea obviously.
1:02:02
But I said do talk about it.
1:02:05
And then when they do decide to have hormones, there’s lots of lots of groups on YouTube that now are coming out like after nine months of being on hormones, the voice, for instance, dropped or, you know, whatever they need to have changed for their own well-being.
1:02:24
Some kids now stop the hormone therapy and that the changes don’t go back.
1:02:30
So that’s comforting for parents to know in a way that they can go off the hormone.
1:02:35
Not necessarily that they the changes.
1:02:38
Some of them might stay but it’s a journey for them and and I always say and I’m generalizing again it’s not one cookie cut fitter non whatever it’s called.
1:02:53
I always say the more you give your your child, the support, the less anxious, the less depressed, the less suicidal ideation, What is more important to you?
1:03:05
And if they do feel regret, you know you can face it, then I think that’s the biggest that.
1:03:13
But it is a worry and a lot of people are.
1:03:15
It’s such a big step, but do you want your child?
1:03:19
That’s something I just discuss with them too, because a lot of kids, once they turn 18, they’re like, OK, I’m doing it now.
1:03:27
So, do you want to have that separation, that wedge with your kid?
1:03:31
I feel it’s important to go along and see where it ends up.
1:03:37
Great answers.
1:03:39
No, it’s a good answer.
1:03:40
Thank you, Anya, for that.
1:03:41
This one’s from Lisa.
1:03:43
We’re in the Lakes region and need your help.
1:03:45
We have a growing LGBTQ Plus group at our middle high school, which is awesome.
1:03:51
Thank you for these resources.
1:03:52
We’ll be sharing them widely.
1:03:53
So, this is the Interlake School District.
1:03:56
So, the need to get into the schools, right, connect with those in the schools.
1:04:02
Any comments on that?
1:04:05
I wanted to say that I have, you know, own personal, you know, background as being an educator.
1:04:12
And so, schools are, are very close to my heart.
1:04:16
And I’ve actually been thinking for a while of, you know, how could I possibly, like, collaborate with schools.
1:04:23
So, just putting it out there, if you want to contact me, there’s a million ways you can contact me.
1:04:31
I’m sure Michelle’s got them, you know, all over the place.
1:04:33
Emails probably best.
1:04:35
But yeah, I’m so glad you’re doing that work.
1:04:38
Thank you.
1:04:39
We need it.
1:04:40
Absolutely.
1:04:40
Agreed.
1:04:42
We need to be aware that the Mental Health Center of Greater Manchester has been serving this community for 10 years.
1:04:49
Thank you Mental Health Center of Greater Manchester greatly appreciate that.
1:04:53
Yes.
1:04:53
And and as a person who has worked for the greater the for that center it’s they’re great and there’s specifically one therapist that I want to honor it’s if he.
1:05:06
I don’t even know her last name.
1:05:08
I’m sorry yes Virginia had and she’s wonderful so yes big big applause for the mental Health Center there.
1:05:18
She also adds here the outpatient child and adolescent department have several clinicians and different levels of care that serve.
1:05:26
Thank you if you very much greatly appreciated Michelle rights.
1:05:32
I have a transgender adolescent that has developmentally delayed parents.
1:05:38
Are there any resources that you would recommend to help the parents understand their child transitioning and the importance of using pronouns, name of authentic self?
1:05:48
We know that they need to do that, resources to help them do that.
1:05:55
I was at Manchester Pride and I saw a table and I’m trying to remember the name.
1:06:01
I’m going to have to do Google search and follow up on this, but I did see a table for an organization for people with disabilities within the trans community.
1:06:11
And I don’t know if it’s specific to parents or kids or whatever, but I did see that resource.
1:06:15
So let me do some digging and I’ll see what I can find In terms of I know the Manchester Pride listed out in their flyer, all of the tables that were there, so I might be able to find it through there.
1:06:26
So, I’ll send that out over to you, Michelle, if that’s okay, fabulous.
1:06:30
And Michelle, hopefully you’re still on.
1:06:33
I would urge you to connect with Emmett, program manager for the Transgender Health Clinic at Dartmouth Hitchcock.
1:06:42
I just put a link in there.
1:06:45
It’s also in the references of the slides.
1:06:50
The family, it’s called the Family Acceptance Project.
1:06:54
It’s based in San Francisco, but they have so many resources on their website and it’s it’s not directly, you know, spelled out that it would be for differently abled people.
1:07:11
But there are videos on there of of families and coming to terms with acceptance and there’s just tons of resources on their website.
1:07:20
So, I would recommend that and I put the link there in the answer.
1:07:24
Perfect.
1:07:25
Thanks Jen.
1:07:27
We do have someone who says they’re apologizing for their ignorance, but I still don’t understand what clear means.
1:07:33
I understand questioning but not clear.
1:07:36
So, could you go into that a little more in depth for us?
1:07:41
Someone, anyone.
1:07:44
I’ll speak on behalf of all of the queer people.
1:07:49
I I I appreciate you asking and appreciate you acknowledging that you’re not quite sure.
1:07:56
I think I want to just normalize.
1:07:58
Most people are not quite sure and that’s okay.
1:08:01
I I would view it maybe in the most simplest way as like an umbrella, like an umbrella term.
1:08:07
And so, you know, underneath that would be specific identities based on gender identity or sexual identity.
1:08:19
But queer as being kind of, you know, an umbrella and some people want to be under that umbrella and some people don’t want to be under that umbrella and and so it’s an umbrella term that maybe also if you’re not a part of the community, you also just like, you know, don’t need to use it.
1:08:39
If it’s confusing, I think just ask.
1:08:41
So, like what are your what are your what’s your identity or you know, do you identify within the LGBTQ plus community or whatever and let the person explain a little bit more.
1:08:52
I think that’s probably the simplest way to go about it.
1:08:55
Ask.
1:08:55
Right.
1:08:56
Just ask people.
1:08:57
Let people guide us.
1:08:59
Yeah.
1:09:00
Be curious, multiple people talking about the schools here.
1:09:04
So, Barbara saying thank you.
1:09:06
Jennifer, you came to Franklin Schools a couple of summers ago and did a workshop here.
1:09:11
So, they have Barbara there who’s helping them out?
1:09:14
And then in Franklin, same thing.
1:09:18
I’m a social worker, Orianna at Franklin Middle School and would like to be involved too.
1:09:23
So, we have many people.
1:09:25
So Interlakes Franklin, yeah, great stuff here.
1:09:31
One last question, I think somebody thank you for the umbrella term, the analogy, which is great.
1:09:39
What’s the here’s, this will be our last question.
1:09:42
What’s the best, safest way to navigate introductions, affirming identities when working with youth?
1:09:53
Like I, I, I would want to clarify like in a group or like when you’re working with an individual for.
1:10:02
And I’m.
1:10:02
I’m talking so much.
1:10:03
So go ahead.
1:10:04
I know I was going to ask.
1:10:10
Yeah.
1:10:10
I was going to ask again.
1:10:11
Can you clarify the question?
1:10:13
Because I wasn’t too sure.
1:10:14
But when we were doing our groups, we usually sit in a circle and we go around, you know each person and we say, OK, I’m Anyo.
1:10:25
Jay’s pronounced like a boy.
1:10:26
She hers, etcetera.
1:10:28
How would you like to be?
1:10:31
What were your pronouns?
1:10:32
How would you like to be named, and what are your pronouns that you’re used?
1:10:37
I’ve dropped the preferred pronouns because kids hate that, and at first we were using that, We didn’t realize that, but it’s like preferred pronouns.
1:10:49
I’m male, so he him, right?
1:10:51
So that’s something to think about.
1:10:54
And I like I learned something today about the a standing for something different than I thought or even I researched it too.
1:11:02
So, it’s not on all websites yet and and it’s constantly changing, but these are things that you learn as you go.
1:11:10
I’m not saying I’m.
1:11:12
I’m all knowing, right?
1:11:14
I learn the same thing.
1:11:15
Yes, I work a lot with gender identity issues, but I’m still learning.
1:11:21
And so that’s the relationship that I have with the parents and the kids that yes, tell me if I do something that offends you, because I can inadvertently do that.
1:11:33
And so, going back to the question as I understand it, how do you introduce somebody?
1:11:38
I would just say this is Johnny he him pronouns.
1:11:45
If if they have you know like in schools it’s different but then they have the forms that you say okay.
1:11:52
I please use this name please use these pronouns.
1:11:56
And so, if that’s clear I I’m seeing the the clarifier.
1:12:02
Oh Michelle, you’re muted.
1:12:04
But I’m seeing the either one-on-one or in a group specifically in a school or youth organization where parents may not be aware of their child’s identity.
1:12:12
Okay.
1:12:13
Hold up, because you don’t want to out somebody who, who’s, who’s not out to everybody.
1:12:20
So, I think the the biggest thing there working with kids, you know, what are your pronouns?
1:12:27
What would you like me to to refer to you as?
1:12:30
So, like what’s how should I call you?
1:12:32
And then also is that okay to share with anybody else or is that just for me when I talk to you?
1:12:40
Because that’s a whole ball of wax.
1:12:42
And I think also, you know, saying clearly to the the student or the child, you know, I don’t want to cross any lines.
1:12:51
So, in front of everybody else, this is what I’m going to say.
1:12:54
Is that okay or do you want that to be different?
1:12:57
And yeah, and just being very, very careful about that.
1:13:03
Great.
1:13:04
This has been wonderful.
1:13:05
Thank you all so much.
1:13:06
Anyo, Jennifer Emmett, thank you for joining us.
1:13:10
Informing us, educating us, helping us to open our minds and our hearts much appreciated.
1:13:17
A reminder recording of today’s discussion will be posted on the education page of Onward nh.org.
1:13:26
And if you need a certificate of attendance, please contact me MWAGNER at N AM I nh.org.
1:13:36
I’m happy to provide a certificate of attendance.
1:13:39
Thank you all so much and until we’re together again, take good care.
1:13:45
Thanks everybody.